Personal Profile

Credentials

• Bachelor of Social Work (Honours) - City University of Hong Kong
• Master of Social Sciences (Criminology) - The University of Hong Kong
• Post-graduate Certificate in Sex Therapy - Florida Postgraduate Sex Therapy Training Institute & Hong Kong Association of Sexuality Educators, Researchers & Therapists
• Certificate in Gambling Counselling
• Certificate in Train the Trainers in Gambling Counselling
• Certificate in Mental Health First Aid Course
• Certificate in the Course for Counsellors for Prepare/Enrich Inventories

Professional Qualifications

• Registered Social Worker (RSW) - Hong Kong
• Associate Fellow - Hong Kong Professional Counselling Association
• Certified Sex Therapist - Hong Kong Association of Sexuality Educators, Researchers and Therapists (HKASERT)
• Social Worker (Australia)
• Certified Gambling Counsellor (CGC) - Canadian Council of Professional Certification

How the story began…

Years ago, I worked in an integrated family service centre.  Our catchment areas were Mongkok and Yau Ma Tei, places ‘well-known’ of prostitutes, drugs, triad societies, new migrants and people from the lower socioeconomic backgrounds.  From time to time, there were news reports on people’s death after taking fake ‘Viagra’ or other drugs which were claimed to boost up sexual functioning but from illegal sources.  I really felt sorry for them.

One of my work areas was to provide counselling.  Couple relationship was one of the greatest case areas I was assigned to handle.  Sex and love are two crucial elements in couple relationship.  Yet, few professionals were trained in this area.  I had a few cases having sexual problems, including unconsummated marriage (never had had any successful sexual intercourse since marriage), vaginismus and various arguments over sexual issues.  There was no free service in the public medical system.  The organizations offering therapies charged them about HKD$300-400/session.  Sad to say, most of my clients were relying on public assistance with monthly income of about $1,700 per person.  Between sex problems and accommodation-and-food issues, of course they would choose the latter.  Out of passion and empathy, I took a course to learn therapeutic knowledge and intervention skills and started my practice, mostly in my workplace as an additional and free-of-charge therapy to my clients.

It was so blissful and rewarding to notice their positive changes.  They said I helped them.  But I should thank them for trusting my professional role, sharing with me their stories and plight.    Like most of people grown up in a conservative teaching environment and under traditional Chinese family values, I had limited sex education in my school days.  I truly experienced the same ignorance as them.  I knew I might be able to learn something new and then teach them.  Thanks for my class teachers and course fellows who sincerely demonstrated their high level of professionalism during the therapy course and supervised practice period. 

Aside from the heterosexual people, I also get better understanding of the problems and difficult situations of people from LGBT backgrounds (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender).  Stop blaming and prejudicing again them.   Sex orientation is just a preference of them which shouldn’t incur discrimination from us.

In fact, I have learnt much from my clients.  It’s the true meanings of sexuality.  It’s something beyond the skills (Practice makes perfect.  Sexual skills and positions are unique and individualized to couples that I really don’t think they should be taught!).  Sexuality is the appreciation of the way we are, our masculinity and femininity, our body, mind and communication.

Through their stories, I see the importance of sincerity and honesty.  I learn to:

-      forget and forgive

-      respect instead of being impolite

-      be patient instead of arrogant

-      be selfless instead of selfish

-      be considerate instead of self-centred

-      be careful instead of liberal and promiscuous

-      recognize instead of blaming

-      focus not only on sensual side but also emotional side

-      focus not on the external appearance/body but the heart of a person

-      love and be loved

-      have sense of humour and make fun instead of being routinized

-      ask not what your partner can do for you; but what you can do for your partner

To my clients,

I hope you can all enjoy the intimate relationship with your partner with joy, love, peace, respect, loyalty, patience and satisfaction both physically and emotionally.  Couple relationship is like growing a flower.  You have to water it, take care of it and fertilize it throughout life.  Sex is not something only between legs.  Sex does not only include vaginal intercourse, but also all the acts consented between the couple in expressing love.  These include holding hands, sitting or leaning together, hugging, simple body touch, cuddling, caressing, manual and oral stimulations, etc.  Have fun and explore excitements with your partner throughout life to rekindle the relationship from time to time.

To my future Mr Right,

Hopefully, you won’t be scared by my profession. (People keep saying to me that I should not tell my potential Mr Right about my profession…. Hahaha!!)  If you assume that I’m very liberal and promiscuous, I can definitely tell that you are not this Mr Right.  God knows me well and He will definitely arrange a person suitable for me.

There is always no perfect skill/technique in sex anyone in the world can guarantee.  I am not going to take a leading role but for sure I shall be ready to play a good partner role.  I hope you will understand me, having a genuine motivation to help those who are in need, especially those who cannot afford paying the high fees of private therapies.  I hope you will feel proud of me and appreciate the way I am.  After all, I am only a small and ordinary woman.  Like a loyal cat, I need your recognition.

To all,

To be a helping professional, you don't necessarily need to undergo the same experience as your clients.  I used to give counselling to substance abusers (I have never tried any drugs), pathological gamblers (I have not been one), parents for parenting skills (I have never had a child), homosexual persons (I am a heterosexual), in-law relationship problems (I have never married), victims of sexual abuse (I have never been such a victim), menopausal problems (I am still young!) etc.  Likewise, I can never have the same experience as a man in this type of therapy.  So, what make me a qualified person?! 

Aside from the knowledge and counselling experience, the success of those cases I dealt with lied in what my teachers taught me before, i.e., having empathy (putting yourself into other's shoes to try to feel what they feel) and being considerate.

I hope all of you can enjoy your every relationship, be it parent-child, in-law, couple, siblings, workmates, etc.  Being empathetic and considerate are the keys.  With these, I bet you would NEVER need a therapist throughout your life~~!!!!

I know my road is not easy.  But if it is meant to be, I will take it as a blessing.